"well if you cant afford it, so dont" thats what my mom said when i watched recap of beyonce's concert in jakarta on tv. i was furious, sad, sorry, and feel like singing.
i felt all of that at the same time!
how could i?? NOT watched BEYONCE! concert in JAKARTA


i dont know what to say, i feel my heart sank everytime i talk about it. well maybe i sound sugarcoated it, but true! thats exaclty what i feel. its bad enough that i dont watch the black eyed peas. but beyonce?? ahhh... gosh.. i was going to buy the ticket with my cousins, we already planned everything, but suddenly she cancelled it! i dont know why, even tho the day before , she even wanted to give me some extra money for the ticket! well maybe thats why she cancelled it, she changed her mind. but whatever. i dont care, i can pay it myself, i just needed someone to go with. because all of my friends were watching it in 'diamonds' (the ticket price : 2.000.000-3.000.000 rupiah) they watched it with cellebs and all. ahh
and i just heard about the show from my friends, and its sounded like the best concert ever! ahh.. dammit.

okayy.. enough about beyonce already. well its been a while since i wrote my last blog... its because my internet was kinda over limited. but now is the new month. and a lot to catch up to. hmm, where do i start.. in the last few weeks everything prettymuch the same, but even better. i have a great couple groups of friends, my family is great, my school is good also, even tho im in the middle of the first try out this week. well the thing that not went so well is my love life. not working at all, well theres couple of guys that my friends intorduce me with, but none of them is my type. the only one is my crush. i just call him K okay? but he's still close with his ex, like dating but without the status. he's really gorgeus, funny, and soo my type. ahh..

but i dont know if im ready to dating yet, even tho im already single quite awhile, but i dont feel like dating yet, first maybe because i havent found him yet, and second.. usually my friends who dating always complaining about their girls or boyfirends to me, and the problem is really small, but they always make it big at dating. thats why. i said to my self "thanks god im single(for now)" right now i dont need the dating drama, my life is already complicated as it is but i love it. well i dont know if im find the right guy. and maybe i fall in love? hahahaha who knows?

One thing that bother me lately.. i have a friend, lets say her name is anaya and we kinda hated weak girls, meaning girlfriends who afraid of that boy and okay if the boys treat them like a bird in the cage. but anaya fall in love with this boy, and she turned out to be the week girls now!
i cannot believe that, and im afraid i'll turn out to be the weak girl. but maybe thats the problem i havent found a boyfriend. i should learn to let my guard down little bit, but im afraid that i might end up getting hurt.

well, so many story so little time, i'll see you later,
XOXO
TRL

a stiletto made my day!

Today is my last holiday. After Ied Holiday for about two weeks, i cant control my bed time.
Usually in Ramadan, i used to sleep at 2 am. and woke up at 2 pm. and i did sahur too. but now Ramadan is over, i still sleep at 2 am. but i woke at 2 pm. The problem is.. Tomorrow school is starting, and I'm afraid i cant wake up Early tomorrow. i have to wake up at 5.40 am. and now is 2 am. which is i only have 3 hours sleep. am i gonna make it? or I'll be late and then they send me back home? or i can ask my mom one day off tomorrow.

Another thing that bugging me is.. i hate the way my ex act. he act as if he playing some kind a"cold" game to me. and i cannot accept it! i invented that game!! well, its typical of him. he always copy-ing me at some point. anyway today is his birthday, and there i did congratulated him, which is oh, SO not me, but I'm over that feeling in my head, but look what I've got. some kind of bullshit cold game, he's such a coward. its a long story. we had history. well why cant we be the kind of ex that close as a friend. HELLO, I TRIED THAT! but, he just cannot accept it, he's not open. to him, its like either DATING or STRANGER FOR BAD REASON
i just don't get it.

Enough of that, the last thing is, I'm applying for the part time job at a few magazine, and i show the resume to my cousin, and she critics me badly. and I'm kinda offended. i don't know why, well maybe that's what a critics for, so in the future we do better. but as for me. once i offended its bad mood all day and i cant stop thinking about it. so yea it hurts a little, and I'm concern that i don't get the job, after so much critics. well she did said i cant show-off at my letter. but i didn't mean ANYTHING like that at all!! that's just not me, show off. Ha. i just being told from my cousin that works at a magazine that i should exaggerate about my capability. i didn't mean in negative way.

well

anything always has a good side right?

my day wasn't so bad at all. because i was doing what a girls do when things doesn't go the way it should. SHOPPING!!
and i use my SOGO voucher and add a couple more rupiah to buy a black hot stiletto, you can see the stiletto above, isn't she beautiful, or what? uh. what a relieve.
and i had a great time at my other cousin's house,
its really great chatting with them. we really click.

aah what a day.. and its almost morning, I'm off to bed
see you tomorrow
XOXO
TRL